Beginning immediately, we will be abandoning our grade level curriculum since every one of your children are so obviously gifted with above average intelligence. I thank you for bringing to my attention that the reason for your child’s disrespect, poor behavior choices, and what appears to be general laziness, is, in fact, due to the fact that he is far too intelligent for our curriculum, and is only behaving this way out of boredom. Naturally, whenever a person is bored, the best way to cope is to alienate other people and avoid all semblance of effort. I apologize for not having seen sooner that I was given a class of prodigies.
The new curriculum will be sent home for your approval. I know that you will attend to it with the same enthusiasm and effort with which you read my newsletters. Though I realize that most of you do not have any degrees or experience with educating children, I know that you will know better than I how to do this job. I thank you for your helpful suggestions and look forward to more positive interactions in the future when your children will all be so stimulated and challenged that all misbehavior will become a thing of the past.
Your Child’s “Teacher.”